Letting Go

Olas que viene

Olas que van

Hola mi vida

Hola! Que tal?

That was a silly poem I had to learn in my 7th grade Spanish class. Literally it means "Waves that come; Waves that go; Hello my life (affectionate for a love); Hello! How are things?" Or something like that. Its one of the two things I remember from that class.  The other thing is that my Spanish teacher made the most disgusting flan EVER!

For the past four months I've been struggling with a friend issue. I know that sometimes friends grow apart and slowly drift in different directions. I've had that happen before, but what I'm experiencing now is different. Its happening so much quicker and with a friend that six months ago was my closest friend. I don't know what's caused the sudden shift. It could have been something I said or it could just be that she's moved on. 

It went from daily (sometimes multiple) conversations about every mundane detail of our lives to the now weekly (sometimes less often) strained conversations giving only the basic bland information that you might give an acquaintance.  Its quite sad really.  This is someone who used to every deep dark secret of my life and now our conversations about the weather, what we had for lunch, and her co-worker drama (so much drama!).

And what's more is that I don't care.

Well, that's not the complete truth. I miss her, but I'm tired of chasing her. I feel like for the past 10 years or so, I've been the one that's put all of the work in the relationship. Every time we fight (or whatever this is) I'm the one that "fixes" it and apologizes (even when I've done nothing wrong). But not this time. I've finally come to the conclusion that I don't need to apologize for things I haven't done just to keep a friendship with someone who isn't willing to do that for me.

So, I've let go.  We had some great times. Some absolutely wonderful times. And maybe we still have memories to make, but for now:

Amigas que viene

Amigas que van...